My desktop time shows 12:01 AM on first day in 2011 when i started to write this post. I just laid on my bedroom, listen to the crowd people outside my house and the fireworks explosions. I don’t even intend to get out and see those colorfull flame on the sky all over Makassar city. Many things suddenly popup of my head, splash out more than those fireworks. Well many things happened last year, being together with great friends in Bandung, graduated from my college, got my first official job, broke up with my girlfriend, still cannot change conditions in my family for many years ago, and a lot of thoughts related to (my future, career, family, ideal life).
Big question for me in the end of 2010 is, “What i have done for my self, for my parents, for my family, for my friends, for anything around me ?” And the answer that crossed on my mind is nothing. And what worries me is the fact that the only thing i do care about is the fact that i can’t care about anything. What could be worse than this ? I feel like i don’t have control on my own life.
But thanks God at least i still worry about it, and i don’t want to be like this again for next years, i want to change by using this new year momentum. Yes, i know this sounds like bullshit, at least to my self because i said i want to change every years ago but then again and again it’s only a words came out from my mouth and still ended up with nothing happen until the next years. This is the reason why i want to have blog started from the end of 2010 and actively writing the posts, so i can keep track on all my plan and goals that i have made, and be consistent to really do make it happen. I learned this simple thing of writing down a set of plan/goal daily, weekly, or yearly from my ex-girlfriend Appin Purisky Redaputri, she always bring her green/yellow notes and write all her to do list on it, my friends called the notebook as a “holy sacred book of Appin”. Well i can tell that works very well, i can see she always be good on anything she did (well done and on time) and finally i realize it’s not easy to be her.
Okay then, to make it looks more serious.. let’s call this “Andi Rahmat Taking Back Control of His Life Project 2011”. Hha, sounds great huh? This time i’m serious, finally i have something to fight for and for the first time of my life i really know what i want to do with my life. Wish me luck, and may Allah SWT bless me..
With humble I started this new year by saying:
- بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
- bismi-llāhi ar-raḥmāni ar-raḥīmi’
- In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Happy new year everyone!!
image by : calendar girl